My adult kids would tell you that growing up, they watched a good marriage. Not a perfect one, but a solid “we really like each other, and we are in this together” kind of marriage. They saw affection. They saw us trying to figure things...
For years, I thought that if my wife, Nancie, would just change a few things about herself, our marriage problems would vanish. Then a counselor helped me see the truth: The problem wasn't Nancie; it was something broken inside of me. And I needed to...
I hated asking my wife, Nancie, for anything because I always felt like she didn’t want to do it. This is how it’d go: I’d start off super sweet and friendly with my request, but then I'd get mad if she said no. I’d ask...
Have you noticed that more communication in marriage doesn’t seem to be the answer for you? Me too. Early on in our marriage, Nancie and I had this pattern. I'd say something the wrong way. She'd shut down. Then I'd relentlessly try to get her...
I have a friend who spent twenty years of her marriage dealing with her husband's porn addiction. They were making it work—not perfectly, but they were fighting for their marriage. Then one night, he crossed a line. She knew what had happened, but when she...
I'll never forget the day I was mowing our lawn in Georgia, sweating in what felt like Satan's breath, and I got so worked up that I convinced myself Nancie had manipulated me into moving here. Yeah, I went from “This lawn is too big”...
When Nancie and I got engaged, many of our friends, family, and a few strangers felt compelled to pull us aside and deliver the same warning: "Marriage is hard work." They'd say it with this knowing sigh, like they were letting us in on some...
In 2001, when I first started working with married couples at our church, I went to Barnes and Noble to learn everything I could about marriage. Instead of a handful of books, I found an entire section. That moment hit me hard. I thought about...
When my kids were little, no matter how tired I was from work, I always loved turning into our neighborhood. I knew that no man on earth could be greeted more sincerely and more excitedly than I was about to be greeted. Upon walking through...
Rewind with me to 15 years ago. At the time, I had a 10-year-old, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a very taxing job. I loved my kids and even the craziness of work, but some days it all felt like too much. That’s fatherhood stress,...